I want to relax! Quickly!

Often people look me meaningfully in the eye, put their hand on my shoulder and say in the voice usually reserved for the severely ill: 'Why don't you take up meditating? Or yoga?' And they give me a little tap on the shoulder.

But just the thought of meditating or yoga is enough to give me a rush of adrenaline. The idea to sit somewhere quietly makes me want to scream.

Luckily running is a form of meditation! The repeating movement of legs and feet have a meditative effect, and fresh air and nature have a calming effect too.

So I'll just run my impatience and stress out of me, and run my way to rest.

Because I do want to relax more, but quickly!
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Sometimes I go for a run and my feet are dragging, I'm bored and all I want to do is go home. Those are the days when senior citizens pass me by, as do toddlers on their tricycles. A little voice inside of me keeps whispering: 'Why don't you go home! Then you can eat that big mars bar. You know you want to!'

But I know that little voice and I know it's not too bright. So I say reassuringly: 'I'll just run to that tree over there, and then we'll go home.' And once I've reached that tree I say: 'So, now I'll just run to that lovely tree over there, and then we'll call it quits.'

This way I lie and cheat my way fifteen minutes from home and then I whisper: 'Well, it'll take fifteen minutes to get home. We might as well run.' And since the stupid voice wants nothing more than to lie down on the couch it agrees. After all: running is faster than walking.

Although honesty is the best policy, sometimes lying gets your further.
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Don't go running when you've just dyed your hair! For a minute there I thought I was literally sweating blood, sweat and tears, when I saw red droplets on my arms. With red dye trickling down my face I hastily ran home, hoping no one would see the evidence that I'm definitely not a natural redhead.

At home I quickly took a shower to wash away the evidence.

From now on I'll live my life as a brunette.
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