So I invited my thirteen year old son Jan along for a run. And I decided to put his company to good use, and run along some neglected dirt tracks I normally avoid. Being a lovely woman and all.
'It's great you came along Jan,' I told him, 'because I'm a bit scared to run this way all by my lonesome.'
'Huh?' he murmured.
I didn't wanna scare him so I explained: 'I'm afraid someone is gonna steal me.'
Jan found this hilarious.
'Yeah, you can laugh now, but you wouldn't think it so funny if you had to go to the police station to tell them your mommy got stolen!' I replied haughtily.
Jan laughed so hard he almost fell off his bike.
After about thirty minutes I spotted a big yellow M, and I knew we had reached our destination. I ordered a cup of coffee for myself, and a coke for Jan, and nearly got robbed blind because they charged me for three cokes!
After we finished our drinks, I ran home in twenty minutes. I would like to brag and tell you I purposely ran a negative split, but I just took a short cut.
When we got home Jan looked at me and said in a tone of voice I can only describe as disappointed: 'You didn't even get stolen, mom.'
'No I didn't' I said, 'but mommy did almost get robbed!'