Conversational balls

Sometimes talking to my husband feels like playing tennis with a partner who won't return my (conversational) balls. Or going out for a run with someone who keeps falling behind, just when you're really getting into it.

Conversational balls

I run, therefore I rock!

Today I ran fourteen kilometers again. Last time I ran this distance for the first time, and was plagued by insecurities and doubts. But I made it, and found out that I indeed have nothing to fear but fear itself!

So today I went this distance again, knowing I could do it. And when I conquered mile after mile I couldn't help but feel really proud. Look at me! The girl who couldn't even run around the park during highschool without collapsing in a sweaty, teary heap of misery. Look at me running fourteen kilometers!

I just love running. It's such a surefire way to feel good about yourself.

I run, therefore I rock!

Running belts

Now that Spring has finally sprung I've bundled up my ugly winter running clothes and put them in a closet far, far away. With great relish I then took out my white little vest and running skirt and put it on. Now I frolick about in the gym that is the world, actually looking nice!

However, there's one thing my summer running clothes don't have, and that is a place to put my keyes and other paraphernalia I feel I can't run without, like money for a cup of cofee. So I run about, holding them tightly in my hand, worrying about the fact that your hands are supposed to be loose and relaxed during running. In my other hand I'm sporting this waterbottle from the Aldi, which makes me feel like a very cheap running commercial.

Looking for a solution I found running belts, but I'm not sure. They just seem to scream: 'Look at me! I'm a serious runner! I'm wearing a running belt with lots of drinks, 'cause I can run really, really far.'

After seven years of running I still struggle with taking myself seriously as a runner.
Also they would really mess up my nice outfit...

Running belts

Running wild

I've been ploughing my way through Richard Louv's book Last child in the woods, reading about the importance of kids running wild through nature. Climbing trees, jumping across small brooks and going out fishing. It's very well documented, with lots and lots of pages and I'm finding it hard going, a bit like a long run.

But when I saw this I sighed with relief. My kids are doing the Last child in the woods-thing!

Running wild.

Running wild

Mental victory

Today I decided I was ready for a new challenge: I was gonna run fourteen kilometers to a farm where they serve coffee. I have run sixteen kilometers but never in one go: I always ran eight kilometers, had a coffee break and then ran home eight kilometers. So this was something new, I was gonna go where I had never gone before! So I felt kinda nervous.

And even though I can run the eight kilometers (five miles) to Westendorp, and their nice pancake restaurant where I always have my coffeebreak, quite well, I was now plagued by doubts and insecurities. Just the thought of having to run another six kilometers after Westendorp made my legs tremble with anticipated fatigue, and didn't I feel a cramp coming on?! And in my mind I heard Frank Sinatra singing: 'Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew, when I bit off more than I could chew!'

Then suddenly Frank was interrupted by the saying: 'You have nothing to fear but fear itself!' With sudden clarity I realised it wasn't my body giving me trouble running fourteen kilometers, it was my pesky mind! It kept whispering: 'Are you sure you can do this? It's awfully far! I don't think you can do this.' It's the same voice that keeps pestering me as a mom. Realizing this I said: 'Yeah I heard you! So now just shut up, because I cán do this! I'm doing it!'

So not only did I conquer fourtheen kilometers, I also conquered myself.

And my victory tasted sweet. Especially with the cup of coffee I had at the coffee farm.

Mental victory

The importance of being flexible

Upcoming Easter has played havoc with my routine. The kids are free from school, and without the school run I won't be able to do my Thursday run. So I decided to move some things around and that's how, this Wednesday morning, I found myself in a Callanetics class! That way I can move my Thursday run to Friday when my husband is home and can watch the kids and I won't have to miss any work outs! Because great as running is, Mother Nature doesn't offer daycare yet, which is why the gym can be a real life saver for moms.

To be frank: I didn't want to join a gym. After committing my life to a man and five children I now suffer from grave commitment phobia and I find it very hard to commit to anything. But they lured me with cheap prices, so grudgingly I pledged my allegiance for at least a year. In return I get to use their facilities once a week. The great thing about the gym is that if offers daycare, so even though my youngest son Piet is home, I could still go! While he enjoyed himself I got acquainted with Callanetics.

At first every exercise was really easy and I felt quite smug. I went at it with a vengeance, but then we had to continue doing them! That put an end to my smugness real fast, my muscles screaming for me to stop. My mind was flexible, but my body wasn't.

After I'd put my body through the wringer, we went to MacDonalds where I had a cup of coffee and a hamburger and Piet had a Sundae icecream.

It really was a lovely morning, thanks to some flexibility as a mom and as a runner! And I feel great for having rescued my running routine.

The importance of being flexible

Run for the spirit

Lately I've been throwing music at myself during my runs, like a burglar does at watch dogs. Just something to keep them occupied while you do the business. With my thoughts inundated with country music they couldn't start complaining about not wanting to run, or feeling hot and bothered.

But in a way I kinda lost myself, because those pesky thoughts are part of me, and without them it's just not the same.

So today I went for a spiritual run: no music, just me and my thoughts, and mother nature of course. And you know what: it wasn't that bad, in fact it was kind of nice. I felt as if I was really there during my run, not thinking about some man who'd done me wrong but feeling my body move and listening to my breath.

I'm not saying no to running to music, I love my country songs, but I've learned you've got to give your thoughts a chance to sing too.

Today was a great run, today I ran for my spirit.

Run for the spirit

Two week hiatus

Yesterday I met my lover again after we hadn't met for two weeks, due to a nasty cold that struck me down in the prime of my week. Quite frankly, it still has me in coughing fits, but I just couldn't wait another minute.

So there we were, the weather was lovely, the sun was shining and the sky Teletubby blue. I rushed into my lover's arms and we hugged joyfully. But when we got down to business I paid the price for those two weeks. My limbs were heavy and tired and I felt as if I was ploughing throught the kids maple syrup.

As I huffed and I puffed my way through I couldn't help but feel indignant: don't those seven years of meeting three times a week mean anything?!

Oh well, we'll just have to be very gentle with each other, and soon we'll be back to our old form.

But even though I found it hard going, it was great to run again.
I love the lover that is running.

Two week hiatus

You can run, but you can not hide!

You can run, but you can not hide!